PSYCHOLOGY of STRANGERS

PSYCHOLOGY of TALKING to COMPLETE STRANGERS

• This blog post IS ABOUT the NEW TREND growing firmly in the MODERN WORLD i.e. preference to USE 1+ APPS to communicate with strangers which can be associated with potential MENTAL HEALTH implications.

• WHY has the idea of making a connection IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE, and at a RANDOM moment as it arises... become so TABOO?  

WHY CARE?  

• Making the decision to interact with a complete stranger (with no pre-intention to form a long lasting relationship) has been reported to have a psychological benefit by helping to peak the levels of a person’s mental health on a daily basis e.g. not just chilling out with your tight circle of friends, families or co-workers…. but choosing to go beyond for a brief moment. 

• Put simply, while some of us aspire to have a 6 pack physically, your brain is also a muscle. So mentally training to have an internal 6 pack on your brain should equally be as instinctively desired.

 

PSYCHOLOGY ARGUES: one way to achieve this is by: 

?SIMPLY TALKING to STRANGERS? 

 

.............................................................................

DEBATE 1

AVOID STRANGERS ONLINE  

(NEED TO: CLICK! e.g. to understand the parody) 

DEBATE 2

SEEK STRANGERS ONLINE  

(FUNNY: CLICK!)  

.............................................................................

• Paradoxically humans (in UK: LONDON, anyway) often MUST opt to follow the social norms in doing all they can to actively AVOID talking to strangers in everyday life. 

• For instance, in a PUBLIC TRANSPORT scenario, even though a person could be few inches away from your face, body, and normal comfort zone.

 

............................................................................

WHAT IS the CURRENT "SOCIAL NORM"

e.g. London?

• Paradoxically this SOCIAL NORM clashes with natural HUMAN'S INSTINCTIVE TENDENCIES to COMMUNICATE with STRANGERS. To make this new connection is HARD-WIRED into our intelligent brains, an EVOLUTIONARY TRAIT that guided us towards becoming the TOP DOGS of the food chain. 

• Therefore, ALL OF US have this instinctive desire to ACTIVELY SEEK NEW CONNECTIONS with people regardless of how many people we already know, alongside the MOTIVE to JUST BE friendly & NO MORE (after all, it’s NOT ALWAYS ABOUT PICKING UP CHICKS & DICKS … blunt, but true).    

............................................................................

"SOCIAL NORM: UNSPOKEN RULES"

BUT WAIT! If eye contact is accidentally made then the acceptable options are: 

• A) LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY; B) PRETEND you’re SLEEPING; or C) Place a METRO newspaper in your LINE of SIGHT, just for good measure. 

• BUT, if you are really daring, you could just SMILE (the UNIVERSAL SIGN to INSTIGATE communication)? However most don’t, mainly because of the SOCIAL A’s, B’s or C’s UNSPOKEN LAWS within "London Society".

• Despite a HARD WIRED NATURE to TALK to STRANGERS, a running theme within certain cultures is NOT TO DO SO  unless a specific set of arguably illogical criterias are met. Ironically, HUMANS are apparently the MOST LOGICAL & INTELLECTUAL BEINGS, possessing vast amounts of executive functional abilities; BUT DO WE USE IT in EVERY DAY LIFE? NOPE, not when it comes to strangers (a definite taboo)…

• Let’s be frank: how many times have you actively chosen to speak for a brief time to a stranger in every day life? This could be at the bus stop or other such locations - clubs, pubs and pick-up venues not applicable.  Would you ACTIVELY CHAT about BS with a STRANGER with no expectations? Twice a week, once a month, or maybe once a year? 

.............................................................................

This blog post will NOW outline a REVIEW to explain the PSYCHOLOGY behind human nature when “TALKING TO STRANGERS”. 

e.g. ARE there ANY REAL BENEFITS of breaking this ironic social barrier through concepts such as the DEVIANT ROBOTS - an arguably new chic trend. 

PUT SIMPLY, this REVIEW hopes to encourage you to follow the "DOCTOR'S ORDERS", by aiming to enrich the human mind towards that internal rocking 6 PACK! 

.............................................................................

DEVIANT ROBOTS: 

Twice a Week, Doctor’s orders?

Deviant Robots: WHO ARE THEY?

• They are a group that meet up, have a laugh & promote a wide range of less conventional activities for people. While individuals may still have a drink, the real focus now is about making a new connection mindfully whilst playing shed loads of ridiculous, addictive and hilarious games.

• They reaffirm themselves not as a cult - good to know! But this NEW GENERATION of Geeks and the scientifically minded has submerged me into a socially new Nerdy world. From a psychological view, they do offer a simple therapeutic benefit for everyday city workers to the average Joe’s. 

?HOW? 

You need SOME SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE FIRST.... 

.............................................................................

SCIENCE about MEETING STRANGERS in MORE ideal situations for the BRAIN: 

• Current science suggests there are cultural implications for societies whose societal norms suggest we should actively avoid speaking to complete strangers in everyday life.  

• Talking to strangers face to face & ACTIVELY doing novel experiences with a semantic meaning is in fact known through 1+ studies to promote positive mind-sets.

PUT SIMPLY: 

It was the ACT of talking to the stranger & NOT the anticipated result of that interaction that actually increased an individual’s daily experience of HAPPINESS during their commute. 

People in the study also had a PRE-BIAS that TALKING TO STRANGERS would be LESS REWARDING than being isolated.

BUT the SAME MENTAL PROCESS when MEETING STRANGERS can have DIFFERENT INTENSITIES & IMPORTANT MENTAL CHALLENGES. 

• Young adults in a period of vulnerability of storm & stress have raised many psychological issues with socialisation & isolation. 

• This topic is commonly debated alongside technological trends with an increasing preference amongst young people to live a virtual life talking mostly online or through various media, which may lead to an over reliance on online communications.

 

............................................................................

Humans are NATURALLY Social:  WHY CARE? 

• This trait to form groups of friends is driven by our species’ quest for survival that has led us to become the largest group of mammals on this planet and the top dogs of the food chain. 

• All other species have lesser group numbers, such as Chimpanzees (despite sharing 99% same DNA as humans), but a totally different position within the food chain. Humans, for many reasons, are indeed the largest gang around. 

Given this limit (>150), there is a possible growing hypocrisy of individuals having 1000+ connections on social media.

 Suggesting in reality that actually having LESS rather than MORE is better.
 (unless there is a business-driven rationale for having so many connections, such as Linked In).  

............................................................................

“Talking to STRANGERS” WHY CARE? 

• Primitively we needed to have close friendships in order to survive when we were cave men & hunter gathers where just grunting simple sentences was suffice (mainly a physical SUPPORT driving friendships). 

• But the context of the world is now drastically changing: technology, societies, rich cultures and general conversations are not based on running after a FAT PIGLET for dinner. Because of this NEW ENVIRONMENTAL pressure on your brains, we need to adapt for the best outcome (mainly a MENTAL support driving an urge for us to communicate with other people).

• The GROWING paradox of MODERN DAY human interactions when we meet a STRANGER (as human numbers are growing) are being suggested by psychologists to be “unhelpful” &  potentially leading to a less positive MIND SET, day to day. 

• PUT SIMPLY: Avoiding talking to strangers IS NOT killing your MIND, per say, but this type of behaviour over time will have an impact on your OVERAL MENTAL HEALTH e.g. overall HAPPINESS experienced daily. 

............................................................................

• As technology advances, the oddity or cultural shift grows to communicating NOT face to face, but rather MACHINE to MACHINE (obviously controlled by humans at this current time). 

• We are increasingly seeing the emergence of a variety of APPS which allow us to communicate with strangers for A BRIEF social encounter e.g. SOMEBODY APP.

• One such example is the WAKIE APP, which depicts people actively OPTING for a complete STRANGER to call them for only 60 seconds at an agreed time to wake them up. They can say ANYTHING they want to each other, have no idea who they are, only the country they come from.

• This APP can reflect humans' primitive HUNGER to communicate with strangers, that has evolved under modern day pressures. Building more connections with others by making new friends is, quite obviously, mentally healthy but we can ideally only form around >150 MAX. 

• BUT what this blog & APP reflects is that it’s the simple ACT that provides the mental health benefits, whilst being open to more occurrences to a brief connection with a COMPLETE STRANGER on a day-to-day basis. 

............................................................................

• The SOMEBODY APP helps somewhat bridge this GAP from the TABOO of speaking to a random STRANGER with the only intent to be used to just pass a message on behalf of someone else for a brief moment and then move on. There’s no hidden agenda here, just a desire to promote more active communication amongst individuals.

• Anyone who downloads SOMEBODY APP  can either request to pass on a message to a person anywhere in the world - good or bad - from happy B days to other messages, including “I want to tell my GF in ITALY that I cheated on her” (from TOM in UK), where other users of the app can then volunteer to pass this message on if they are nearby e.g. JOE (in ITALY) then tells Tom’s GF and then just simply walks away from her.

............................................................................

WRONG to DISMISS TALKING TO STRANGERS? 

• “Pluralistic ignorance”: this is where you conform to norm social actions e.g. ignoring strangers, even though instinctively you may feel otherwise to just say “hey? …. love that jacket etc ” 

• However, this over analysis of anticipating a negative or potentially dangerous outcome when talking to strangers perhaps explains the emergence of new mindful therapies.  

• Are we, as humans, too overly concerned about the negativity of interacting with strangers? After all, every person is different in how they communicate. Social norms are just grey areas, with each individual at different ends of these boundaries.   

............................................................................

HOW CAN the DEVIANT ROBOTS CONCEPT HELP TALKING TO STRANGERS?

• Current science supports what the DEVIANT ROBOTS exhibits through an evening of interactive social games: 

• This simple notion of talking to strangers with a mind set to give everything a go, being non-judgmental & with no expectations for all of the strangers you meet, encourages a mental 6 pack to develop over time.

DEVIANT ROBOTS reaffirm themselves not as a cult - good to know! But this NEW GENERATION of Geeks, Nerds and the scientifically minded has submerged me into a socially NERDY new world?. 

From a psychological view, they do offer a simple therapeutic benefit for everyday city workers to the average Joe’s. But is there a prerequisite? They don’t have one; hence it’s a very mindful event.

I am a wannabe geek, but, as explained before, I would not class myself as a hard core geek - the idea of comic books, comicon, anime & hard core movie fanatics is NOT something I’m an expert in.

• I was introduced to the world of STAR WARS battles with an interactive “LIGHT SABER” to card games that did not resemble a normal pack of cards, as well a board game that was mentally challenging with 101 pieces (making Monopoly look somewhat child-like and far too simple!).  

• Alongside meeting a bunch of very cool, laid back guys/gals, the conversations never ventured anywhere near the boundaries of career or political views of the world, but merely allowed you to be absorbed in the moment of entertainment (it was NOT about PICKING UP CHICKS & DICKS). 

PUT SIMPLY: 

By promoting a suitable setting to encourage “TALKING TO STRANGERS” in daily life… I may then try to follow the doctor’s orders to smile with the intent to encourage a brief conversation to those millions of people that I commonly ignore & pretend I DON’T see, even though they are two inches from my face on public transport. 

• The world is getting more crowded but ironically people opt to feel increasingly isolated during their daily commute: each time you turn down an opportunity to speak to someone, you lose out on possible enjoyment of a laugh and a chilled moment.

PUT SIMPLY 

For the libertarian, idealist and naturally seeking hedonistic individual, people should be open to enjoy talking for the sake of being social in every day life regardless of the social setting (BUS, TRAIN, WAITING IN QUEUE or COFFEE SHOP); after all, it is hard wired in humans' mental neurology TO BE SOCIAL!